I remember that woman, the woman I was when I married my husband. I would do anything at the drop of a hat for my hubby. If he forgot his wallet at home, I would bring it to him. If he needed new jeans, I would run out and find some. Make his favorite meals. Etc.
Things have definitely changed. It's not like I don't want to be that woman anymore, I do, but being a mother is hard work and there are never enough hours in the day. Now when my hubby leaves his wallet at home (which he does, fairly often) I tell him, "borrow some money from a coworker" because loading up my 3 year old and 8 month old for an hour round trip just seems crazy these days. I already have too much to do, too little time.
But how do you survive the change without divorce? People ask me on a daily basis "how do you guys do it?" Well I will tell you what, my hubby gets the credit, and here is why...
Men, never stop appreciating your lady. Realize that her obligations have shifted and she is doing the best she can. If you can realize the hard work your wife spends with your children or on the house, you are doing something right and your wife will love you even more! If your wife is a stay at home mom, who is she getting recognition from? Who is telling her that she did a great job at "work" today? Has she gotten a bonus lately? Think about the things that make you feel good at work and thing about who is making sure your wife feels the same.
Yes you might think that "that's what she is supposed to do" but everyone needs recognition or I will tell you what will happen, without a doubt, she will resent you.
If your wife had a rough day with the kids, and you come home to a messy house, don't even think about commenting. Give her a hug, tell her she is beautiful, and let her take an uninterrupted shower. That's what my hubby would do and I will tell you what, she will get out of that shower a different woman. She will be happier, more thankful for you, a more patient mom, and maybe make an even better dinner : )
Everyone wants to know the secret to what makes a marriage work. Here it is, embrace the change, accept it, move forward, find what makes each other happy, and never stop showing you love one another. Do you kiss good bye? Good night? Welcome home? You may be busy but you are never too busy to show affection and remember where the magic started.
My hubby leaves at 3:30am for work, and every single day he kisses me and tells be good bye. I am always sleeping but I always remember. It's important to nurture that relationship and never stop appreciating each other.
And ladies, you may be up all night with the kids, and slaving away for them all day, but don't stop appreciating the hard work your hubby does. He is here, and working to take care of the family, so give him credit. Have you recently said "I appreciate you?. Literally, those words? Say them! Even if you aren't getting recognition for all that you do, someone has to start so if you can show appreciation to your hubby, then he will see how that feels and do the same to you.
Yes I realize that there are those working moms out there (I hear you, my photography business is putting me at about 30 hours a week as well and I nanny 25 hours a week), but take this advice for what it's worth. It all comes down to nurturing the relationship, appreciating what you have and all that you do for each other.
And don't forget, NEVER STOP HAVING FUN!
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