Dating your husband

One thing you will not hear me talk much about is single life. I just really can't relate personally to a single life before by husband, because that would refer to my childhood. You think I am kidding? We started dating when I was fourteen and he was thirteen (we are only 3 months apart though). And though we did have our share of  "break ups" I still wouldn't call our months apart "single life".
Anyways, while I do feel confident that I can give good advice on dating and relationships, I wont pretend like I know what being single and dating feels like. I will however tell you how to date the most important man in your life. That man being your husband.
Date your husband? I must be kidding right? Who has time to date their husband?
Well I do. And you do too. You might look around at your life, house, kids, pets, and think that there is so much to do, so little time. But you have to remember who the building blocks are, that keep that household together. It's a small equation, you plus him.
This should go without saying but can obviously go for any relationship, whether you are dating, or married.
Our household is busy, every day there is something on the calendar. But you still need to take time to nourish your relationships. If you a baby, and you aren't ready to leave them quite yet, then you need to figure out how you can carve out some one on one time with your significant other. You can't go too long putting it off or it becomes a habit and you will not want to go down that road.
I am not telling you to get a babysitter and go out every weekend. I am just saying that you need to carve out time for your "plus one" if you don't want to wind up being a "one".
Whether you set aside a night to watch a movie with a bowl of popcorn, or get a babysitter for a couple hours while you two run a few errands and grab some ice cream, you have to be creative in finding time together.
I get messages all the time asking what our secret is, or how are you so happy? Well it really isn't that hard. You have to remember why you fell in love, why you wanted to marry your partner. You can't just let life pass you by and remain a passenger in your own life. Grab the wheel and take control.
I understand your exhausted. My 3 1/2 year old still doesn't sleep through the night. I get it. But taking time to look at your partner and give them a couple hours of undivided attention each week is not too much to ask.
Here are five things I challenge you to do every single day, and I promise you will feel your love grow in your relationship:
1. Always kiss good bye, and say I love you. Even if one of you is still sleeping when the other leaves.
2. Always stop what you are doing and greet each other when you get home, with a hug and a kiss.
3. Put down the phones, and turn off the TV during dinner.
4. Always respond to your partners thoughts, questions, comments. Do not ignore what they are saying, or eventually they may just stop trying to communicate with you.
5. Dance. EVERY SINGLE DAY. We blast the music and dance as a family every single day. Not only does it bring smiles, laughs, and joy. It pushes aside reality for a few moments.

P.S. If you are struggling to find a babysitter, consider doing a child swap. It is seriously one of the greatest things ever. It makes your date night even better when you don't have to worry about paying someone. If you watch their child while they get a date night in, then they return the favor. Simple as that!

Dinner, you are doing it wrong.

Tonight while cooking dinner, I had one of my moments that happen at least twice a week. It's a moment when I think "ughhhh why don't we have a TV in our living room". I just want to veg out and watch a show while eating dinner.
We do have a big television, which is in our upstairs "rec room". So it's not that we don't have TV. We just don't have one that is visible from our living room or dining room.
You know what we have to do during dinner instead? Talk to each other! Holy moly, can you believe it?
I can't even begin to explain how extremely important it is to sit down and have dinner with your family. To go over your day, talk about little details, talk about plans for the next day, or rest of the week. So often we just get too busy and those moments just fade away.
You know another rule we try to stick to? No phones during dinner.
I have the bad habit of checking my phone when I hear it, especially with my photography business, I get a lot of messages and emails during dinner time. But I just try to stick to the habit of putting my phone in a different room during dinner.
We started with the habit of eating diner together and now it has become a habit with every meal. I sit and do breakfast and lunch with the kiddos and it is such a nice time.
It's amazing the conversations you can have when you unplug and step away.
Try it! See the difference it can bring your relationships. I know it's nice to kick back in front of your favorite show, or a redbox, but just try to make it a habit and you will bring better communication to your household.

Love your body project

It was about eight years ago that I worked for a body care store in the mall. It was quite the learning experience. I grew a lot as a person. In six short months I went from a part time associate, to a full time assistant manager. I had a horrible boss that was awful to all of the employees and every day was an "adventure". But the reason I stuck around was because I loved the company. It used natural, fair trade ingredients. And there was so much training about the products and what they did for your body. I loved helping women, and men, find products that worked for them.
One of the big things this company always talked about was "loving your body". And how we could make a difference by helping people find products that didn't just work for them, but that made them feel good about themselves. Whether it was skin care, body lotion, make up, hair product, etc.
When you wash your face, brush your hair, throw on some lip stick, all of these things make you look in the mirror and reminds you who you are.

So this leads me to my "love your body project".
As some of you know, I have started a new adventure in my photography. I have been taking Boudoir pictures. Talk about a completely vulnerable moment in your life. You mean I have to let someone see all my flaws? Every curve, every wrinkle? Yes, that is exactly what you have to do. And you will never feel more free, beautiful, and powerful.
Why wait one more day to celebrate yourself? I am constantly hearing people say "I want to lose more weight first". Well guess what? There is no time like the present and if you do happen to lose those 20lbs you wanted to, then we can take some more pictures.
You are so much more than the labels you have given yourself, or others have given you. You are more than a mother, wife, girlfriend, sister, manager, associate, etc. You are beautiful! And you should celebrate that beauty.
So here is my "love your body project". It is about women celebrating who they are. Throughout the next year I am going to help empower women through my pictures, blog, and whatever else I can think of.

Don't stop at "stay at home mom"

It's interesting how some people view "stay at home moms". What a life, you don't have to go to work? You don't have to leave the house? You get to catch up on all your shows during naptime?   You get to go on play dates and socialize with other moms?
WRONG!
The day of a "stay at home mom" is far from that. You are surrounded by little people who talk about boogers, poop, and you hear "I am hungry, I want cartoons, etc." all day. By 9am your house is clean and vacuumed, but by noon it is destroyed again. Your kitchen is constantly in disarray because you cook three meals, plus all the snacks. If you get the chance to have a playdate, your children are so thoughtful  that your  adult  conversation is interrupted at least ten times in five minutes.
In just this short paragraph I have been interrupted six times by my kiddos.
When I became a SAHM (stay at home mom) I went crazy. My social needs went through withdrawals. Prior to kids, I have always had very social jobs, with a very social life. Having these withdrawals led to two things happening. First thing, fighting with the hubby. He would come home from work and I would talk his ear off and need the social interaction. Or I would be watching the clock, waiting for him to call on his lunch break. It drove me crazy! The other thing that happened was facebook groups. I joined so many mom facebook groups, and followed so many bloggers, I would find myself caught up in the internet drama. It was exhausting!
That's when I finally realized things had to change.
I went back to work one day a week, then worked up to three days a week. I traded child care with a friend and my hubby watched our son, so I didn't have to pay for daycare or a nanny.
I had an interactive social life again!
I also took my son to story time, play dates, and then when he turned two, we joined a preschool. I also started to nanny again, and then started my own photography business. Life became busy again. And I became happy. And you know what they say "happy wife, happy life". lol. And my hubby and I stopped fighting.
I am contributing financially, I am busy, my kids are happy, and my relationship healthy.
Did you know that the number one cause of divorce is money problems?
I am not saying that you can't be a SAHM but if you are having issues, like I was having, I encourage you to find passions that do not revolve around your husband/wife, or kids. Find yourself again. You aren't just a "mom" or a "wife".
Be the you, you want to be!