Can you hear me now?

You are exhausted, you have a million things on your mind, you are in the middle of folding laundry and your spouse comes in and starts telling you about work. You snap in frustration because that is just one more thing taking up space in your brain that you can not handle, right?
First of all, know that this is normal. We all do this. And it is not gender specific, we all do it.
Sometimes we are just not interested in what our spouse is talking about, and that is okay. But what you do next is what matters and can literally make or break your relationship.
A long time ago I was listening to the radio and it was talking about relationship advice. It was talking about the art of conversation. How we get so busy and overwhelmed that we can easily shut down our spouses when the conversation is distracting, boring, or just in general not on your mind at that moment. It isn't that you don't care about your spouse and what they have to say, but you just have other things on your mind.
This is where YOU can make or break your relationship. You have two choices.
I am in the middle of loading the dishwasher, with dinner on the stove. I am thinking about all that I have to do tonight before bed, and tomorrow. My husband comes in and starts telling me about work and what someone did to get in trouble, etc. I turn to him and say "babe, I am cooking and doing dishes, can you go do some laundry or something?" OR you stop what you are doing and listen. You realize he wants to tell you this story, no matter how significant, and you listen.
What studies have shown is that if you stop listening, if you show your spouse that you do not care what they have to say, then they stop telling you stories. They stop sharing, talking, etc.
Whether you are going into detail of all the cute things your kiddo did at preschool, or your spouse is talking about the crazy lady yelling at the checker at the grocery store, you can show each other you care by just listening. Put down the phone, stop doing the dishes, make eye contact, and listen.
This goes for your romantic relationship, but also your relationship with friends, and family. If your family member calls to vent, listen. If your friend has to vent about their dating situation that you have heard a thousand times, listen anyways. If you push these people away by rushing them off the phone or shutting them down, do you think they will keep calling? Do you think they will look at you as someone who they can share their positive and negative with?
I encourage you all to think about how this affects your daily life, catch yourself doing it and change the behavior. I am so incredibly thankful for that radio station that day, it has been on my mind ever since and has changed the way I listen to everyone in my life.

Family <3

lifelong friends <3