If you have ever had a deep parenting conversation with me, you have heard me talk about postpartum depression. I like to throw it around as casually as one talks about brand of diapers, favorite bottles, and best carseat, because it's just about that common.
Whenever I bring it up I have big, wide eyes on me. It always throws people off. I know our society is in favor of hiding mental illness. Why on earth would we ever want to normalize something that so many people suffer from? But it is real and almost every single mother I meet has dealt with some sort of postpartum depression.
What is postpartum depression you ask? Well, I wish I could answer that, but unfortunately I can't. Here is Wikipedia's short version: Postpartum depression (PPD), also called postnatal depression, is a type of clinical depression which can affect both sexes after childbirth. Symptoms may include sadness, low energy, changes in sleeping and eating patterns, reduced desire for sex, crying episodes, anxiety, and irritability. While many women experience self-limited, mild symptoms postpartum, postpartum depression should be suspected when symptoms are severe and have lasted over two weeks.
The problem with this description is what it's not telling you. It is not telling you that it can happen while pregnant, or years after baby is even born. There are so many different spectrums of this depression, there is really no great information on how to deal with it as it effects everyone differently.
For me, it was straight UGLY CRYING for days. I can still remember it like it was yesterday. With my first born, he was five days old and my husband was back to work after two days old. I cried, and cried, all day, every day. Nothing helped. I didn't know what was happening and everyone I reached out to didn't really know what was happening either. I think it was about three weeks of crying until I was finally sending texts to my husband like "I haven't cried at all today!" I was finally put in contact with a few momma's I knew in high school who had babies at the same time as me and were also going through similar things. It was life saving to have those women to talk to. We would text each other all day, checking in, venting, sobbing, etc. It helped get through he hard times and I was lucky enough to feel better rather quickly. The sobbing was about three weeks long, and the depression in general a few months.
With my second child she was not even 24 hours old before the ugly crying began. I can remember sitting down to dinner with my husband holding our baby girl, my 2 1/2 year in his high chair and I would just have to get up and walk to our room because a new wave of tears was coming over me. I was so convinced I wouldn't have postpartum depression the second time around because it wasn't my "first rodeo" but boy was I wrong. I cried all day, every day. And even with my husband home, I cried at the idea of him returning to a work in a week. Everything was a mess. I cried for less time the second time though. It was a couple weeks of crying, then a few months of depression and I was out of the cloud.
I can remember spending HOURS scrolling the internet trying to find help, but everyones story was different. I just wished it was simple, and there was a simple solution. I tried to find a councilor but they ones that my insurance covered dealt with depression in general, not specifically postpartum. I couldn't find any that specifically dealt with PPD and if infuriated me. How do we have this huge need for something and no help?
Well the most common advice was GET OUTSIDE. And we did. Even though my daughter was born in February, we were outside immediately and those days did definitely feel better.
As I am gearing up for baby number three I KNOW I will have PPD. I am preparing my self for the inevitable that is a wicked ride of emotions.
We very carefully planned to have a summer baby. There was no way I was doing a winter baby again, haha. So this time around I am banking on the sunshine, summertime to be a huge help. I am also working with a few essential oil ladies to get me set up with the best oils to use on my body and in my diffuser as well. I am also going to be encapsulating my placenta. And the other thing is swimming, I have been swimming since September and it makes me feel good, so I am crossing my fingers that I can get back into the pool 6 weeks postpartum and that will help as well.
And of course the most important thing of all... MOMMA TRIBE!!! You MUST have a momma tribe. It is so extremely important to have other mommas you can vent to, cry to, talk poop to, because at the end of the day, you have to remember that your partner is working hard and they are also exhausted and can't talk all the nooks and crannies of your everyday with you. If you can help it, NEVER angry text, or even sad text them while they are working. I mean think about it, if they could be home and take away all your troubles, they would. But they are stuck at work, already feeling crummy that YOU are feeling crummy, and then you text them unhappy things and it just makes things so much harder. Always try to give them your positive and have a momma tribe to air out your negative.
So now I ask YOU...
What are some things you found that helped you deal with PPD, baby blues? Anything I haven't mentioned? Or did I mention something that worked well for you?
I would love to hear from you or just hear your story in general.
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